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No. This is not me four days post double mastectomy/reconstruction. This is me on June 1, 2015 finishing my first bike ride since being diagnosed with cancer on December 16, 2013. I’m sharing this for it’s ironical factor. I’ve owned this jersey (with matching vest and arm warmers) for years having no idea that I carry the BRCA 1 gene putting me at high risk for both ovarian and breast cancer. Life is funny and ironical.

I’m on the other side of the boob removal surgery. Not going to show you that photo. My plastic surgeon called this morning to check on my recovery. He reminded me to be patient and that I’m “under construction”. Yep. True. Good news. The pathology report from the breast tissue showed no signs of cancer. So, I’m probably not going to get breast cancer in my lifetime. Whew.

I’m sidelined again. Meaning, my once very active lifestyle has come to a screeching halt. At least for a little while. I’m learning to be patient. I’m learning to live in this moment and appreciate what it offers me. As a psychotherapist (aka “shrink”), I speak to this point so very often. And, yet, before cancer and the surgeries and the chemotherapy, I was truly giving lip service to my clients. Ok, maybe not all of the time. Some of the time I was living in the pure joy of the moment. Mostly when I found myself in nature. Now? Well, this is different. These are moments I had not anticipated. These are moments I had feared. Living in a moment that is fearful is …..well, let’s just say it’s hard. I have some work to do. Practice, that is. Practice.